Lost Souls
by dakotacrime
Summary: Paige is stuck in an abusive home, while Spencer is constantly stuck in her sister's shadow. Can these two broken souls find each in the dark? A McHastings fic, AU, and Dark.
1. Chapter 1

_**WARNING: This is a dark fic, there's a lot of different kinds of abuse, and neglect. Its a McHastings fic, but just to let you guys know, there is also going to be self harm. Please read at your own risk, **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars, just using the charecters.**_

Lost Souls

Chapter 1

P POV

It started with a loud crash, and i knew what was coming. He was home, my dad. "PAIGE!" He screamed, it echoed off the walls in the house, and rang in my ears. You'd think that after four years of this, I'd be used to it. I'd be used to the yelling, and the blaming, and the drinking… But I'm not. It just gets harder and harder to deal with every time. I heard his shuffling footsteps getting closer to my room. I've long learned that hiding from him only fueled his anger, so I stayed at my desk. My door flew open with a loud crash, the stench of heavy spirits instantly filled my room. "You are supposed to answer me when i call your fucking name!" He yelled, slightly slurring his words.

"I'm sorry, i didn't hear you come in." I lied. It wasn't good enough for him, because he stormed over to me and roughly pulled me up by my shirt. The smell that his breath gave off was almost enough to make me gag. How he could drink something that smelt so awful was beyond me, but i closed my eyes and braced myself, knowing what was going to come next.

"You ungrateful little shit." He snarled as he threw me to the floor. I didn't make a sound as i thudded to the floor and got a swift kick to the stomach. "Don't you fucking be slick with me." I coughed from the impact and curled into a ball. Hoping he wouldn't hit me again. Thankfully he didn't, and i heard him mutter something that wasn't coherent and stumble out of my room. I stayed curled in a ball with tears leaking from my eyes, long after he slammed my bedroom door shut, and i heard the tv turn on. He had probably gotten another bottle of vodka and continued to drink. Eventually i uncurled myself from the floor and hissed when i straightened my back. Slowly i stood up and went over to the full length mirror in my room. With delicate fingers i rolled up the material of my shirt, and saw dark purple splotches that scattered and covered my torso. Some were dark purple and new, others had turned a disgusting shade of yellow-green. But i saw another red welt where he had just kicked me, knowing another giant bruise was going to form. I sighed as i rolled my shirt back down. I looked at the clock above my desk and saw that it was 12:30, I walked over to my bed and laid down on top of the covers. I lay there, tears flowing freely now. Crying silently was necessary. If he heard me, he'd come back in here and hit me again. I learned that in the first three months. Thankfully his drinking hasn't gotten worse. If anything its gotten better. This used to happen almost three times a day. Then twice, then once, then he'd miss a day, and now it was only a few times a week. He's never hit me so hard that i break anything, but the bruises are almost constant. My body is littered with them, on my chest, on my stomach, my sides, my thighs, my back, my arms, and sometimes my neck and face. He's more careful about hitting me in the face, those are harder to hide. I know what your thinking, if this has been going on for four years, then why am i still here? Why do i put up with this? why haven't i told anyone… why haven't i run away. Well, I'll tell you why. Its because its not that simple, and its because its my fault. I'm the reason he started drinking. I was the one that had my mom pick me up from a friends house late at night. I was the one who wouldn't stay at her house because we got in a fight. I was the one that begged my tired mom to come get me. I was the reason why we got in that accident. She tried to get me to stop crying in the car and tell her what happened. She turned her attention to me, because I was hurting, and the other car ran a stop light and smashed into her side of the car. She didn't die on impact, but she was hurt really bad. I remember crawling over to her almost lifeless form, telling her everything was going to be okay, and that she was going to be alright. But she smiled at me and made me make her a promise.

"Take care of your father, He's going to need you after this. Please Paige, promise me you'll look after him, he's so forgetful he'd probably forget to eat without someone to remind him to." I cried into her telling her that I promise to take care of my dad no matter what. It was easy to promise that then. My dad and I were best friends. Both super competitive, both loved sports. She died in my arms just a few minutes before the ambulance got there. I had a concussion, a few bruised ribs, a black eye, and a bust lip. But my mom was the one that lost her life that night. I wondered for the longest time, why she had to die, why couldn't I take the injuries she got. My dad would be okay if she were still here. I'm not good enough to take care of him. Even though still to this day i still try. He doesn't mean to hurt me. Normally he doesn't even remember doing it, but when he does, things go back to the way they were before mom died. He would take me out to eat, buy me ice-cream and we'd go to an arcade and play games until midnight. But these days were rare to come by now. I can't tell if he wakes up and remembers hitting me and choses to ignore it, or if he simply doesn't remember it. But either way, its not exactly something i can bring up in a casual conversation. He has it hard, and I don't want to make things harder for him. All I can do is keep the promise I made to my mom. It was the last thing she ever said to me other than 'I love you.' and that isn't a promise you can break.

Before I knew it, my phone's alarm was going off, telling me it was already 5:30 in the morning and I had to get ready for school. With a heavy sigh i slowly got up, wincing at the pain in my side. I went over to the mirror and again and pulled my shirt off slowly. The bruise was full, puffy, and a dark blue-purple. sighing i opened my dresser and pulled out a clean shirt, pulling it on, before changing my pants. I stalked quietly to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth, before quietly tiptoeing out to the kitchen. On my way there i saw my dad passed out on the couch, with an empty bottle of vodka on the floor. Quietly as possible i went over and picked up the bottle off the floor, and threw a blanket over his sleeping form. he didn't stir, even the slightest so I went to the kitchen and made coffee, breakfast for the both of us and a lunch for myself as well. Maybe the smell of coffee woke him up, but soon he groggily wavered off of the couch clutching his head. I poured him a cup of coffee and set it on the edge of the counter. He whispered a thank you to me and grabbed it before sitting down on a chair. I didn't say anything while i continued to cook and make my lunch simultaneously. When the eggs and toast were done I separated them onto two plates and placed his near him with a fork. I ate mine on the other side of the kitchen, as i finished packing my lunch and drinking coffee as well.

"Paige…" He started. I stopped, i was on my way back to my room to get my backpack and keys. "Do… do you need anything? Money or…" he stuttered.

"No dad, i think I'm okay." I shook my head. He nodded slowly and i took that as an okay to leave. I grabbed my backpack after putting my homework in it and then got my car keys, phone, and wallet, placing them each in different pockets. I really was okay with money. I had my own job, and didn't really buy much. my job paid well and so i kept most of the money i made. When i walked back out to the kitchen my dad was standing in front of the door. I stopped and gulped, i didn't know what he was going to do, he seemed okay earlier… I cast my eyes down and grabbed my lunch, putting it in my bag, and turned to the door.

"Here." He said handing me money. It was a large stack of money. Easily in the thousands, i grabbed it and flipped through it. I was right, they were all hundreds with a few fifties, twenties and tens to the end. "Go, shopping, or.. buy a new car, or that motorcycle you've wanted for a while." He said awkwardly. He must've remembered last night, because he had this sad look in his eyes and he couldn't look at me directly. I took a step forward and gave him a hug. It must've caught him off guard because his body went ridged.

"Its okay Dad." I said. It took him a minute before i felt his arms wrap lightly around me. But soon we both let go and he stepped out of the way and I left for school. Money really want a problem in my house. We practically lived in a mansion and I had a really nice car that my dad bought me last year for my sixteenth birthday. It was a brand-new midnight blue Ferrari, a little excessive for a sixteen year old, i know, but i cherish it with my life. My dads got two cars to himself, both expensive, and we still have lots of money left over to blow. Another question you have for me? If we have so much money why do i have a job? Well if it wasn't obvious, i like to spend as little time at home as possible. That's why.

I got to school and parked, stepping out i noticed my friend Spencer just getting out of her car. "Hey Spence." i said as i approached her. As usual she had too man books in her skinny arms, so i rushed over and grabbed a few from her before they all toppled to the ground.

"Thanks Paige." She said smiling at me. We were pretty good friends, and the oddest pair around. I was the popular rich kid. And Spencer was the nerdy brainiac. Atleast, thats what i thought of her the first time i saw her. But when we were paired in a partner project, I got to know her and we've been inseparable ever since. I like Spencer because her family has money also. She never wants to hang out with me just because of the things I have, no, she wants to hang out with me, because I'm me.

"No problem little Hastings." I said, she threw me a stern look, "Sorry. i mean Spencey." I laughed. Spencer hates being called 'little hastings'. She has an older sister whose shadow is unbelievably large. Spencer is literally the smartest kid in our grade, and yet, her parents don't recognize it because her sister was smarter at Spencer's age. Spencer is a year younger than us, she skipped a grade, which in my mind is amazing because i suck at school.

"Thats right McCullers." She snapped back, I playfully nudged her shoulder with mine and we walked into the school. Spencer and I's lockers are unfortunately on opposite sides of the school, so to fix the locker situation, we share both of our lockers. We keep certain books in one, and the others in the other so that we don't have to rush all the way to the other end of the building for a book. It works out great for the both of us. Today however, Spencer and I had our first period open together so, after we grabbed what we needed, we headed to the library.

I watched Spencer as she opened up a huge book and a notebook and immediately set to work. I admired Spencer for more reasons than one. We both have problems at home, that we don't like to talk about. We each know a little bit about the situations with the others family, but never question further unless the information is willingly given. Spencer know's that my dad drinks. And that he yells a lot, but she doesn't know about him hitting me. She also doesn't know about my mom. And even though i really like Spencer, i hope she never has to find out about either of those things.

I must've been staring at her and spacing out because she threw an eraser at me that bounced off my nose. "Stop staring at me… its weird, and i can't concentrate." She teased. I smiled at her and leaned forward, staring at her intensely. She pretended to ignore me, but i could tell it was bugging her. As much as Spencer craved attention from her parents, she hated getting it from anyone else. She was quiet, and rarely talked in class. She never said it right out, but getting to know her for the better part of a year, i've picked up on a few things. She looked up at me and glared her signature 'Spencer Hastings' look, which let me tell you, is quite terrifying. I chuckled lightly and held up my hands in defeat, casting my eyes down and grabbing a notebook from my backpack and doodling in it to pass the time.

"Wanna go shopping after school?" I asked when she closed the book she was working in.

"Yeah, i need to get a few things anyway." She said, while pulling out another book and staring another assignment.

"I need a lot of things, so can we drive out to Philly?"

"Where else would Paige McCullers shop for things?" She said without looking up from her work. I scoffed, in mock hurt.

"Oh I'm sorry princess, i didn't realize i was so predictable and high class." I rolled my eyes and she giggled, but didn't look up.

"Clearly you don't pay attention to your wardrobe." She said. I looked down.

"Whats wrong with what I'm wearing?" I asked. She looked up at me and gave me an 'are you kidding me?' look. "What?!" I said confused. She rolled her eyes at me and sighed before pointing the eraser piece on her pencil at me.

"One your shirt. Its cleanly pressed, no creases, no stretches, no scuffs anywhere and has a logo on the breast pocket. Indicating that it's name brand, in this case, a Ralph Lauren button up." I leaned back in my chair while she took a breath before continuing. "Your jeans are dark wash and hug your features perfectly, the design on the back pocket suggests that they are Silver brand jeans. You're wearing Steve Madden boots, and judging by the shine on them they're new." She smirked and squinted her eyes at me. "As for your bra it's L'Argent and your probably wearing some silk panties as well." I stared at her wide eyed. I looked down at myself (and down my shirt) and she hit everything spot on.

"Okay Sherlock, do your homework." I teased her after she laughed.

"How do you not know what clothes you put on in the morning?" She laughed while continuing her homework.

"I don't know, i just pull things out of my closet and put them on… should i not do that?"

"Your ridiculous." She smiled at me. The bell rang and we packed up our stuff, promising to wait by our locker for the other for lunch, and then to meet at Spencer's house after school before we go to Philly.

I pulled up to Spencer's house and noticed her car was already here. I walked to the front door and Spencer came down to let me in. Her mom was sitting on the couch papers strewn everywhere in front of her and she didn't even look up. Spencer just walked past her and we went to her room upstairs. Spencer was just grabbing her wallet and things, when her dad walked past.

"Spencer, how did that test go yesterday. Did you get it back?" He asked.

"Great, I got 102% on it." She said, happily. He just nodded his head, and stared off.

"Melissa always got 103%." He muttered before turning and leaving. I looked to Spencer and saw the crushed look in her eyes.

"Come on, Lets leave. We can take my car." I said quickly. I grabbed her hand and we silently left her house, not bothering to tell her parents she won't be home tip late. We jumped in my car and I sped off, in anger at Spencer's dad. Its not the first time he's done that in front of me. Spencer was quiet for the first fifteen minutes, and i couldn't stand it. So i decided that we needed a small change in plans and pulled into a little place. "Follow me." I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and and getting out. Spencer followed, but didn't really look around. I grabbed her hand and laced it in mine, leading her inside. There were loud crashes and yells inside, and Spencer looked up suddenly and clung to my arm.

"Hello ladies, how can i help you?" The guy at the desk said.

"Yeah, gimmie six large plates and 6 large cups." I said to him.

"Its not cheap…"

"I know." pulled out my wallet and dropped a few hundred bucks on the counter and he rung up everything and then told us to got to room three and that someone will bring us our items shortly.

"Paige… Where are we?" Spencer asked as we walked to room three.

"A magical place." I said, i found this place a little while ago, while driving around stalling before going home. Spencer and I found room three and went inside. The walls were painted yellow and a booth with a thick ledge in the middle. Not he other side was a wall that had cracks and dents in it with a picture of a giant 'pow' in comic book style. Soon someone came in with our plates and cups and Spencer looked at me puzzled. Once the lady left i picked up a plate and handed it to Spencer. "I found this place a while ago, it really helps to vent." She looked down at the plate, and i picked up a cup. I handed her a pair of goggles and she slipped them on while i put mine on. Spencer looked a little timid so i started. I pulled my arm back, wincing at the new bruise, before using all my anger to launch the cup foreword as hard as i could at the wall. Feeling satisfied as i heard the shattering glass as it hit the wall. I turned to Spencer who stared with her mouth agape. "Well, your turn" I smiled at her.

"I don't know…"

"No Spence. Throw it." I hated ordering people around, but in this case, it was necessary. Spencer was so uptight all the time. She needed to learn to let lose, and that doing things that weren't ordinary was okay. She took a few deep breaths and threw the plate like a frisbie at the wall. It shattered and i smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. "Good job!" She smiled up at me and i let go as she reached for a cup. She pulled her hand back and threw it, it hit the wall, but only the handle on the ceramic piece fell off.

"What?!" She yelled. Angrily she grabbed another cup and threw it at the wall. the same thing happened. I could see her anger really pouring out now, as she grabbed the plates and threw them at the wall one after another watching them shatter as they hit the wall. Soon the first pile of plates was done and she picked up another cup. She threw it at the wall, and this time it shattered upon impact.

"Whoo!" I threw a fist in the air in celebration but immediately regretted the decision as sparks of pain shot up my arm. Instinctively i clutched my side. I know Spencer saw that, but was thankful she didn't comment on it. I went over to her and gave her a hug. "Keep going champ." I said to her. We stood side by side throwing plates and cups at the wall. Each one shattering. We spent a few hours there throwing plates and cups, laughing and having a blast. At the end we were sweating and hungry. We left and got back in my car.

"I think its to late to go to Philly." She said. I agreed and said that we'd go shopping tomorrow instead. We turned the car back and went back to Rosewood and i drove us to the Grill to eat. We ordered our food, Spencer got a chicken ceasar salad and i got a buyer with fries. Spencer ate neatly while i stuffed my face at an impossible rate. Spencer was only half way down with her Salad by the time i was picking at the little crumbs left behind by my fries. I was still hungry and went and got our waitress and asked for another basket of fries. "How on earth do you eat so much so fast?"

"Simple," i said when the lady brought the fries, "I don't eat them. I inhale." i said grabbing more french fries and stuffing them in my mouth. Spencer laughed and i smiled at her, chewing slowly. I reached over and grabbed a piece of chicken from Spencer's plate and popped it into my mouth.

"HEY!" She said.

"Sorry, not sorry." I smiled, "Thats really good…" i commented trying to grab another piece but she hit my knuckle with her fork.

"You are such a heathen!" She laughed at me. "No more for you! Im aware it's good thats kind of why I ordered it!" I pouted in my seat but it went ignored by Spencer, so i just finished off my fries. When the waitress returned with our check, I pulled out my wallet as Spencer reached for her purse.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked her.

"Getting my money out. What do you think YOU"RE doing?"

"Im paying."

"No you're not."

"yes i am."

"You paid earlier!"

"And?" She narrowed her eyes at me and got close. I was expecting her to give in and say fine i can pay, but instead she blew in my face causing me to close my eyes, as she grabbed the check and walked away up to the cashier to pay for it. i huffed and let her pay. She returned to the table smirking triumphantly at me. "Thats considered poor sportsman ship." i said at her gloating face. She rolled her eyes at me and we left. I dropped her off at her house and promised to pick her up in the morning and we'd go straight to Philly after school so she didn't have to stop at home. When I got home, my dads car wasn't in the drive way. I breathed out a sigh of relief, and worry. And went inside. I took a quick shower and went to bed, not having nay homework to do. I laid down in bed, and closed my eyes. A little while later, i heard a crash, and my body went rigid.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sorry this chapter is so short, thank you guys for the love and reviews. Ive been busy with Hibiscus and life :P but I'm trying to alternate between stories. I wanted to get this one out for all of you who favorited and followed this story, dont worry im not gonna start and not finish something, thats not in my nature :} but yeah, so here you guys are, let me know what you think! **_

_**~Also i dont know if im going to incorporate the other girls, i might, but im not sure how just yet... **_

_**but yeah, I hope you guys like it! **_

_**Enjoy and review! :3**_

Chapter 2

SPOV

I walked into my house, thankful for the distraction that Paige gave me. God, Paige. Just her name in my head sends delightful chills up my spine that enter deep in my core. _Paige. _ I smile to myself despite the terrible mood being back in my own home gives me. There are no lights on in the house and i doubt that anyone even bothered to look and see if i had come home or not. I go upstairs and change and get ready for bed. I lift my arms over my head peeling my shirt off, and remembered how Paige winced when she threw her hand up in the air. I know Paige's dad hits her. Its kind of obvious. How she always is so guarded with her body. How she only wears clothing that covers her body and never shows off more skin than she can help. How she always clutches her side or hisses in pain when someone accidentally knocks into her or if she moves to fast. But i respect Paige enough to let her tell me on her own terms. If i were to comment on it, she might run from me. Paige is a flight rather than fight kind of person. She loves to avoid conflict and hates it when the attention is on her. Which I can understand. I hate it too, which is ironic considering how much i crave my parents attention. No matter what i do, Melissa somehow has already done it better. I don't blame Melissa though, at least she's nice to me. I really miss her, sure we've had a rocky past, but thats only because I'm constantly being compared to her. Melissa tries her hardest whenever she comes home and visits to get Mom and Dad to be less hard on me, but they never listen to her. They just fawn over her like she's fucking Hail Mary.

I take a deep breath feeling myself getting worked up again. I jump in the shower and wash away the sweat of today and all my worries and just relish in the fact that i get to spend all day with Paige again tomorrow. God her name again. Its ridiculous as to how much of a hold this girl has over me. But theres nothing i can do about it. I mean… I know she's gay, but she doesn't know that i am too. Well i think I am. God I'm so confused. Its like, i find guys attractive, and I have dated guys in the past, but then there's Paige McCullers. She brings a whole new level of attractiveness to the playing field that guys have absolutely no chance with. She's perfect in every aspect, Her face, her hair, her personality. God i love everything about her. Everyone at school already thinks we're dating, no matter how much we deny it, everyone thinks we are. We've been named "Cutest couple" in the year book, and they've given us the name "McHastings". Although its one thing that I've beaten Melissa at, i can't see how well my parents would take me being gay. They're pretty straight forward people. All about grades and perfection. Something which i seem to fail epically at, even though I've skipped a grade (Earlier than Melissa did) and Ive got top marks, its still not good enough for them. Nothing I do is ever good enough for them.

But Paige, Paige sees me for me, and i think thats what i fell for. She didnt judge me right off the bat… entirely. She called me a brainiac then asked me a bunch of stupid questions trying to out smart me, then felt stupid for asking them wrong, apologized profusely and then decided that she as going to take me our for coffee as an apology. I remember that day so well. I had always admired Paige. She was popular, and yet, not stereotypical popular. She was cool and laid back, and let things go. if something bad happened, she wouldn't explode or get angry, she'd stay calm and work things out. It was one quality that i was never able to attain. Im impatient and impulsive, but Paige says that she likes that about me because then we balance each other out better. She says the more differences we have the more we have in common. It doesn't make any sense, but since she said it, I'm willing to let it slide. I shut off the lights and got into bed, filling my head with every memory i could muster about Paige and I so I could hopefully have a Paige McCulllers filled dream.

I woke up panting, stuck to my sheets with sweat. my phone blared its stupid fucking alarm over and over again and i reached over and shut it off. it was 5:30 in the morning and it was still dark out. I groaned as the throbbing sensation between my legs grew with every second i left it un attended to. I laid back and remembered the hot and steamy dream i had about Paige and I. We were having sex in her car. God I love her car. i was straddling her hips in the front seat and grinding down on her hand that had resided in-between my legs an her thumb ran heavy circles on my clit through the heavy fabric of my jeans. I groaned again and slipped a hand under my sheets, unable to ignore the now painful throbbing. i brought two fingers to my clit and rubbed fast circles with my right hand. I let out a throaty moan at the feeling, i was already riled up, so it didn't take long for me to feel the pressure build in my lower abdomen as my willed my hand to rub faster. soon my back arched off my bed as i felt my orgasm rack through my body. I kept rubbing for a few more seconds trying to ride it out as long as i could. I gasped heavily once i was able to breathe again. I wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep after that, but i knew i had to get up and go to school and try to beat Melissa's grades. with another groan i threw my covers off and flung my leg out of my warm bed. I was met with cold air, and it helped me wake up a little bit more. I shuffled my feet and made my way to the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and take care of everything else. I walked back to my room and got dressed. Paige and I are supposed to hang out in Philly all day, and with a quick weather check on my phone, i knew exactly what i was going to wear. I went to my closet and pulled out a new dress i bought. It was floral and shorter than what i normally wore. It was black and low cut, with little red and green flower patterns on it. I wore a push up bra with it, and a tiny lace thong that matched my bra. I matched them both black knew high lace up boots and a matching purse. Giving my outfit a once over i then ruffled my hair up and let my wavy hair flow down, cascading past my shoulders. I added a thin line of eyeliner and mascara, with a pale pink lip gloss and then grabbed my backpack and then went downstairs. As soon as i got downstairs there was three brief honks of a car horn and i smiled to myself knowing Paige was outside. It was just past 6:30 and I left and went to her car. She smiled at me as i approached and i saw her eyes roam over my body. I smirked a little to myself happy with the outfit i had chosen to wear.

"Morning Spence." She greeted me when i sat down in the passenger seat.

"Hey." i said cooly. Paige and I took off, speeding away and off to our favorite spot. There was a little park in the middle of town that we liked to sit near a big oak tree and eat our breakfasts there. We pulled up in no time and i stepped out of the car as soon as it was parked, leaving my purse and backpack behind. Paige grabbed our breakfast and coffee's from the back seat, along with a blanket for the two of us. I went straight for the tree making sure to walk with a small sway to my hips. Once i got to the tree i leaned against it and turned to look at Paige. She was still a little further way then she normally would be and i motioned for her to walk faster. She rolled her eyes at me and continued at her leisurely pace. When she got to me she handed me the blanket and i laid it down before sitting down and holding a hand out to Paige. She sat down next to me, but i pulled her down so that he head was resting on my lap and played with her hair.

"Spence, I'm hungry." she said after a while. I picked up the muffin she had bought and ripped off a piece feeding it to her. She hummed in appreciation and i smiled down at her. i leaned over and pressed a warm kiss to her forehead. I picked up the muffin and popped a piece of it in my mouth before ripping off another piece and feeding it to Paige. I grabbed the coffee that was sitting next to us and sipped the drink. "Can we just skip school today?" Paige asked after we finished one muffin and began the second.

"I don't see why not… i mean, ill never be good enough academically so…. sure lets do something different." I smiled down at her, I saw the pain in her eyes for me, but i ignored it.

"No, we shouldnt-"

"No Paige, I want to." I said. Maybe it was selfish of me to think that maybe if i started acting out then my parents would notice me more… or at least talk to me. I mean, yelling at me was better than having them ignore my very presence. Paige looked at me skeptically, but after a few more minutes of convincing and promising to let her buy lunch she finally caved.

We shopped all day in Philly. Buying whatever we wanted from what ever store we wanted. And it felt amazing to let lose and just splurge on myself. Paige and I went to a fancy restaurant for lunch, no matter how much i protested Paige said she wanted to pamper me today. That it was all about me. We ate and filled lunch with mindless chatter and reminiscing in random stories of out past. I gazed at her, admiring the way her eyes lit up when she remembered and told certain aspects of different stories. I watched as her emotions changed in her eyes, as her mouth said something entirely different. I don't know if Paige realizes how much attention I pay to her. I hang on her every word. I hang on to everything she says and take it all to heart. Maybe she does realize that i hold her on this pedestal and thats why she uses it to her advantage to help boost my confidence in myself. If you hadn't noticed it's pretty low, I'm scared of a lot of things, of being noticed by other people. Im not used to the attention, so when its given to me, i don't know what to do with it. But not with Paige. Paige opened up to me first, she uses her charisma in ways that i didn't know was possible.

"Are you listening to me?" she asked. I was brought back from inside my head and i realized that it was getting dark and we were driving back home.

"What?" I said dumbly. I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. They were so uncharacteristic of me.

"You kind of spaced in the last store, so i figured it was time to go home. Ive been trying to get your attention… I'm sorry if you were thinking about something important." I shifted in my seat so i was facing her a little more. I placed a hand over hers that was resting on the gear shift as she drove and laced my fingers with hers.

"No Im sorry Paigey. I don't know why i spaced, i shouldn't have done that. And trust me when i say there is nothing more important that being with you and knowing that you care so much." Paige smiled sheepishly to herself and i turned back to sit normally but kept our hands together. She began rubbing small circles on the back of my hand, whether she knew she was doing it or not i will never know, but i suppressed a moan at the sensation. Just touching Paige sent jolts of pleasure through my body, so her rubbing circles on the back of my hand was almost over stimulating. i felt a shudder rack through my body and paige looked at me concerned.

"Are you cold?" She asked worriedly. "Here." She said immediately taking action. She turned on the heat in the car and unlaced our hands to reach to the backseat to grab a blanket and laid it over me. i smiled at her and thanked her for the blanket, wrapping myself up in it. I reached for her hand again, and she opened her palm to me with ease and we settled into a comfortable silence. I traced patterns on her arm as she drove and the soothing hum from her engine slowly lulled me to sleep. Eventually I felt a hand on my shoulder and Paige woke up me telling me that we were at my house.

"Five more minutes." I mumbled.

"Come on Love bug, I'll carry you." She said. i heard her car door open and then close, then my car door opened, blasting my face with chilly air. I felt Paige's strong arms wrap around my body as she carried me bridal style into the house.

"Spencer is that you?!" I heard someone call.

"No its Paige, Spence is sleeping." I heard Paige call out.

"Oh Jesus thank god! I got a call from her school saying she never showed up and was wondering if she was sick and no one knew where she was and its really late and i got really really worried!"

"Don't worry Mel. I got her, I'm sorry I kept her out so late, we were in Philly shopping. Speaking of which i have to get her stuff from my car." I was laid down on the couch and I heard Paige and Melissa continue talking. Soon I felt the couch dip and My head was picked up and placed on someones lap.

"Please please don't scare me like that Spence. You're my little sister, and even if I'm not here all that often i still love you." She whispered to me.

"Atleast someone does." I whispered weakly back.

"No Spence, they love you too okay? I know they don't show it often but they do!"

"Then where are they? Why were you called?" I asked, my eyes still closed. She hesitated, before answering and i knew the answer. They were upstairs sleeping. Soundly i should add. I could feel my heart constrict in pain. Mel was the only one that ever saw this side of me. I felt her stroke my hair and she tried to convince me and tell me they have just been working late hours and they were too tired to wait any longer. I cried quietly, her words falling deaf in my ears. I felt another pair of strong arms pick me up from the couch and i clutched onto who ever it was, too weak to even open my eyes. But from the silky hair that was pillowing my face on their shoulder i knew it was Paige. I clung to her and i felt her take me upstairs. I felt her lay me in bed and i didn't let go. "Stay." i choked out.

"I love you Spency." Paige whispered to me. I felt the other side of the bed dip, where Melissa slipped into the bed with us and rubbed my back. I clung to Paige and gripped Melissa's hand. I have these two wonderful people who loved me, and yet, i still feel so empty and pathetic, not being able to win my own parents affection.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay I know this is short, but please dont hate me... Im having small difficulties with this story, so if any of you guys would like to see something happen or have any ideas that you think could help please by all means let me know :)**_

_*****WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELF HARM  
**_

Chapter 3

PPOV

I got up in the morning before Spencer woke up, i left her a small note next to her bedside table and snuck out of the house. Spencer slept in late since it was Saturday and I heard Melissa and her parents downstairs.

"You guys are so ridiculous! You have more than one daughter you know!"

"Of course we know that Melissa! How could you say we don't?!" Her mother shouted back. I stayed on the steps listening.

"You don't pay her ANY attention! Any time she does anything you dismiss her like it's not good enough for your ridiculous standards!"

"The least she could do is get similar grades to you, she isn't trying hard enough thats all." Her dad countered.

"Are you KIDDING ME?!" Melissa shouted in anger. "Not trying hard enough. All she ever fucking does is try, she skipped a grade two grades before i did, she was in 8th grade math in 6th grade, even i didn't do that until 7th! And neither of you even gave her a sideways glance!" This was getting out of hand, so i took the last few steps and made my presence known.

"Morning Melissa." I said plainly, not even acknowledging her parents.

"Paige, morning, did you sleep well?" Melissa asked me.

"Yeah,"

"Good morning… uh.. Paige." Mr. Hastings said. I looked at him shocked that he knew my name, then remembered that Melissa just said it and the surprise went away. I didn't say anything back to him I just went over to the couch and grabbed my stuff.

"Paige…" Melissa said warningly.

"What?" I asked her. she gave me a pointed look and i rolled my eyes, "Look. If anything I'm helping your case right now."

"What is she talking about Melissa?" Her mother asked pulling Melissa close to almost whisper it in her ear.

"Im right here Mrs. Hastings. I can hear and see you." I huffed in irritation. "I'm treating you how you treat Spencer and I. You don't pay attention to anything that isn't Melissa or work related."

"Now hold on a second who the-" Mr. Hastings cut in. I raised my hand and cut him off.

"Just the other day I was standing in Spencer's room when you came in and asked her how her test went. She told you she got 102% on her math test and all you have to say is 'Melissa always got 103%' " I used air quotes to emphasize my point. Melissa turns around hoping that getting a strangers point of view would help them listen.

"I believe you were on your way out." Mr. Hastings said with stone cold emotion. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag. Melissa tried desperately to get me to stay and to apologize for her dad, but a hand from me cut her off. I just slipped my jacket on and walked out the door, letting it slam shut behind me.

* * *

I drove the short distance back to my house in silence. It was only about 8 in the morning, and i was already in a bad mood thanks to the Hastings. Don't get me wrong, Melissa and Spencer are the best things that have ever happened to me. I mean, sure I'm a little skeptical of Melissa, but at least she tries for Spencer, unlike her stupid parents. God i hate adults. They're all nothing but judgmental and hard on everyone. God don't they remember what it was like to be kids?! I slammed my car door shut, before composing myself before i walked into my house. last night was friday night, so…. Dad most defiantly went out drinking. I'd have to be extra quiet this morning, and make him a huge breakfast… With a few deep breaths i crept up to the side door of my house and quietly opened the door. I slowly crept inside, wincing when i heard the door creak, and slowly shut it behind me. I tip-toed over to the kitchen, and opened the fridge to start making breakfast.

"Where the hell were you." I heard his slurred voice from behind me. I turned around slowly to see his ragged form. His work clothes were still on and wrinkled to high hell. His normally well kept hair was unruly and gross, and his face was long and tired. But his eyes, they made my breath catch in my throat and fear resonate from my soul. HIs eyes were pitch black, from anger or the alcohol or both I'm not sure, but that was one look that i had hoped i would never have to see again.

"I stayed over at Spencer's house last night." I replied, not turning back around, and facing him the entire time.

"Spencer, who the fuck is Spencer?" He yelled.

"She's a friend from school." His face turned up in a sarcastic smile.

"She? Oh, has little Paigey gotten herself a girlfriend?" He laughed.

"No dad, she's just a frien-"

"Don't fucking lie to me!" He slammed a fist not he kitchen counter top. I jumped in fear and gulped. "Has she seen you yet? She'll hate you once she sees how weak you are." He laughed again. I tried so hard to ignore him, knowing he didn't know what he was saying, and convincing myself it was the alcohol in him talking. "She's gonna leave, they all do. They will do anything to leave."

"Mom didn't leave." I said boldly, his words angering me.

"She didn't leave? She didn't leave?! Then where the hell is she?! Is she here right now?! I don't fucking think so!"

"She DIED YOU STUPID FUCKING DRUNKARD!" I shouted back, he stalked over to me in the blink of an eye and before i knew it i was on the floor and my cheek was red hot and stinging from the blow i had received. He reached down and yanked me back up by the front of my shirt before punching me in the face again and letting me fall to the ground.

"And whose fault was that?" He said, venom and hatred dripping from his voice. I froze at his words. _Whose fault was that?_ I heard his footsteps slowly shuffle away and i stayed there on the kitchen floor. _Whose fault? It was my fault. Mine. My fault that we got in an argument. My fault that i begged my tired mother to come get me. My fault for crying in the car. My fault for letting mom take her eyes off the road. My fault that the other car to hit us. Mine._

I stayed on the kitchen floor all day, not having the strength to get up. I heard my dad leave a while ago, and the sun has run its full course, now setting on the other side, leaving an orange hue on the walls. I managed to get to my room, although I'm not sure how, still turning my fathers drunken hate filled words through my head. _She'll hate you once she sees how weak you are. Whose fault was that? Where the hell were you? She's gonna leave. Whose fault was that? She'll hate you. Weak. Fault. Lie. _The words all blurred together in my head and I screamed in pain and anger and sadness. I opened my eyes to find myself in the bathroom, dark red color dripping down my arms and flowing to the white tile sink. I looked to my arms with hazy vision and saw long deep slashes across my arms. I don't remember cutting myself, and i don't even remember the pain. I don't feel pain now either, even though i desperately want to feel physical pain. The emotional one is to great to deal with, and i feel my heart collapsing in on itself. I look up at the mirror and see that my lip is busted on the right side, and my right cheek is bruised and swollen.

"I deserve this." I said plainly to myself. "It's all my fault." I said again. I repeated the words out loud like a mantra. "I deserve this. It's all my fault. I deserve this." I brought the bottle of rubbing alcohol from underneath the sink and held my wounded arm over the sink. I opened the bottle and poured the alcohol onto the cuts. Hissing as i felt the sting. it wasn't enough, so i took out some paper towel and soaked them in the rubbing alcohol and rubbed my wounds clean with them. The pain was glorious, for once, in a long while i was in control of my pain. His words and his fists had nothing on this. I began to laugh, i laughed so hard that my gut hurt, and the tears flowed constantly from my eyes. The blood still trickled out, and the sting stung worse as time dragged on. But i didn't stop. I kept wiping the cuts, over and over again. I didn't stop until i heard the front door slam shut. I didn't even bother wrapping my arm up, i just threw away all the bloody paper towels and put away the rubbing alcohol.

"Hello dad." I said, not even recognizing my own voice.

"Go to bed, you shhhhould be 'ssssleep byyy nnnowwww." He slurred holding on to the wall for support.

"Awe come on dad, wheres your anger?" I mused at him. "What? No more insults, no more punches? kicks, slaps, belts? nothing?" I egged him on. I don't know why i was doing it, or what made me do it. All i know is that i had lost all sense and reason, my body and mouth were acting on their own, and my brain was trapped, being forced to watch what was going to unfold. I saw anger flash through his eyes.

"I ssssaid, gooo 'ssssleep." He commanded again trying to get past me, but my body didn't budge.

"Poor daddy, so wasted he can't even walk up right by himself." i growled at him, forcing my way past him and slamming the door to my room shut. Once inside i laughed. I laughed again, hard. _Its official. Im insane, what the hell is wrong with me?! _I shouted at myself in my head, but nothing i though was heard by my body. My body did what it wanted, which included going to bed with my arm still bleeding. I didn't get under the covers either, i laid on top of them, and played music from my iPod on my speakers next to my bed. I don't know how long i laid there, but before i knew it my door flew open.

"What made you so fucking bold." He growled, his eyes the same black from earlier.

"What made you so fucking bold." i mocked back. Every thing in my mind screamed at me to stop, but my body wouldn't listen, I stood up from my bed and walked over to him, displaying what I'm assuming was a creepy ass smile on my face.

"Get that smile off your face."

"After you remove your first." I didn't see his hand coming and the back of his open palm hit my face right where he had punched me earlier. I felt my head whip to the side, but i didn't go down. "You're losing your touch old man, that didn't hurt nearly as much as they usually do." _Stop Paige Stop! _I screamed at myself, but it was like no one could hear me. I was trapped, chained and caged in a place where no one could see or hear me. And someone else had taken over my body.

"You little shit." He growled as he kicked my legs from underneath me and got on top my me and punched me in the face. I looked up at him, and he was practically foaming at the mouth. He hit me again, and this time my hands flew up to try and protect my face, but they didn't make it in time. the third time he hit me, right before i looked up at him, and i felt myself regain control, his eyes were still blacker than darkness and his rage, angrier than satan. Time slowed and i swear to you I heard my voice say "Night Night." In an evil menacingly was in the back of my mind, right before his fist came crashing down and everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

SPOV

I woke up to an empty bed, I stretched and looked around. I racked my brain for what had happened last night and remember falling asleep in-between Paige and Melissa. Melissa is an early bird, so it wasn't a surprise to me that she wasn't here, although, i kind of expected Paige to be here when I woke up. Even if she's never actually slept over before. I couldn't help but wonder to myself is she had even stayed the night or simply left once I was asleep. I reached a hand over to my bed side table with a groan and felt a piece of paper on top of it. I grabbed it and read it in my head.

_**Morning beautiful, or afternoon? Not sure when you wake up. Sorry i had to leave early this morning, i had to take care of some stuff, I'll see you later on? Just let me know -Paige**_

I smiled to myself, _She called me beautiful. _I giggled a little. I got off my bed and made my way to my desk, to put the little note in a safe place. I turned on my iPod on its dock to play some music and the song Hello Brooklyn by All Time Low began to blast through the speakers.

"This city, So pretty" I sang lightly along with the music, there was a light knock on the door and I shouted for them to come in, and Melissa crept into the room.

"Oh, you're awake." She said. I smiled at her, "Feeling better?" She asked. I nodded and went back over to my bed and grabbed my phone, flicking my finger across the screen. "Mom and Dad went to work."

"I could have told you that, when are they ever here?" I said, pretending to be busy on my phone.

"Are you hungry?" She tried again, I know what she's doing. She's trying to the nice older sister and mom at the same time for me. Don't get me wrong, i appreciate it, i really do, but sometimes she smothers me with this. She feels responsible for the way our parents treat me, but its not her fault they like her more, and she doesn't understand that I'm not used to the undivided attention. Honestly it makes me feel uncomfortable, I don't know how to explain it.

"Yeah, are you making breakfast?" I responded politely with a fake smile on my face,

"Yeah, blueberry pancakes?" she asked, i nodded and she smiled and left, leaving the door open. I kept the smile on my face until i heard her go down the stairs, and it promptly fell off. I sighed and fell back onto my bed. I texted Paige good morning and that I wondered if she wanted to go see a movie tonight. I set my phone back down an rolled over laying on my bed with my face buried in pillows. I laid there, not thinking of anything in particular, I had absolutely nothing to do today. I already finished all the homework assignments that could be assigned in the next two weeks for every single on of my classes, i've read just about every book in the library, even the boring ones, and i've read the dictionary twice. So i lay there, keeping to myself, my mind stayed blank, and it was a nice feeling, not having to think of anything. I didn't bother to move, until the scent of blueberry pancakes and coffee wafted through my open door, and my stomach rumbled. I pat it twice before dragging my unwilling body from the comfortable mattress and made my way downstairs. Melissa had really outdone herself with breakfast. There was a huge stack of pancakes sitting on a plate, with a steaming cup of black coffee next to it. I sat down and cut into the pancake stack neatly, before stabbing it with my fork and taking a bite. If there was one thing Melissa was good for, it was making pancakes. She sat across from me and ate her own stack of them, we ate in silence, the only sound was the clinking of metal forks on ceramic plates and the occasional slurp from one of us taking a sip of coffee.

"I have to go to the office in about an hour." Melissa said breaking the comfortable silence we had fallen into. I nodded in response. "Will you be okay here by yourself?" She asked. I nodded again, using the excuse of 'my mouth was full' as a reason not to give a verbal response. Melissa nodded and cleaned up her plate. I sat there slowly finishing what was left, while she left to go get ready for work. Once I was done i took my plate to the sink and washed it off, before refilling my now empty coffee cup and headed back upstairs. I set down my coffee and picked up my phone expecting a response from Paige, and was surprised when there wasn't one. It wasn't like Paige not to respond to my texts, the longest I've ever waited was 5 minutes, when she said she was in the shower. I looked to the clock next to my bed and it has been almost an hour since I texted Paige. I shrugged, deciding not to think to much of it, maybe she took a nap, she did leave early, so… It was likely. I played my music again and set a notebook and pen down on my bed, before sitting next to it. I picked them up and sat them in my lap comfortably, and left them there. I didn't have anything to do, but if Melissa walks in, its better that she thinks I'm doing something, than not doing anything at all. And sure enough, Mel came in wrapped in a towel, her hair dripping wet. She didn't come in my room per say, she stood outside the door, I pretended to be deep in thought, and re-reading whatever was supposedly on the page in front of me, and it seemed to be enough for her, because she kept walking to the room she was staying in.

I sighed heavily, I feel so terrible for wish Melissa would leave already. I know she worries about me, but sometimes i hate that she does. She takes worrying to a whole new level, she's the kind of person that would sit next to me on my bed for 7 hours straight never leaving when she thought something was wrong. And thats not an exaggeration either, she has done it before…. twice.

"Im heading out now." She said, from my door.

"okay" i said back distractedly. I heard her sigh, and she lingered by my door as though she wanted to come in, so i picked up the pen and started writing. I wrote random quotes that came to mind, knowing she would think its homework and decide not to bother me and leave. And she did. I kept writing the quotes until i heard the front door close. I didn't even finish the quote i was on, i just put the pen and notebook down and leant my head back against the headboard of my bed. I closed my eyes and let my head be filled with the music that was playing lightly in the background. In this case it was Demi Lovato's song Lightweight. I hummed along to the melody and thought of Paige. I worried about her, she tries so hard to hide everything, and act like she's okay, but i know she isn't. But i don't want to ask her about it either, because I'm scared that i'd chase her away. I don't think i could handle it if she decided she didn't need me anymore. It was a constant fear that I had. That one day she'd realize that she could have so much more than i could offer her, and she'd go for it. Of course i want whats best for her, in ever aspect of her life, but i can't help the small selfish piece of me that wants her for myself. Before i knew it, the light outside had started to fade, and i realized that i hadn't moved all day. I was so lost in thought that what felt like seconds in my mind was hours in reality. I got up off my bed, stretching my now stiff muscles, and tidying up my clean room. There was always something out of place, even if there wasn't i'd move something just so i could re-clean it. which is what i ended up doing.

"Spencer!" I heard my dad call from downstairs. I felt my shoulders drop, and i trudged out of my room with heavy feet. I defended down the stairs slowly, and saw my dad in the kitchen loosening his tie.

"Yeah?" I asked once i hit the bottom of the stair case.

"I need to talk to you," He said point to the couch. I made my way over and took a seat, pulling my knees into my chest. "Your friend… Paige?" He started. I looked up at him and waited for him to continue. "How long have you two been friends?" He asked. I shrugged.

"A year or so. Why?" i responded.

"I don't think she's a good influence on you. I don't want you associating with her anymore." My eyes flew to him, and i could feel panic rising in me.

"WHAT?!" I shouted.

"End of discussion." He stated.

"No! Not end of discussion!" I yelled back jumping off the couch.

"Excuse me?!" He glared at me.

"Im not going to stop being friends with Paige!" I shouted. _Who does he think he is?! He can't stop me from being friends with Paige! _

"Yes you are." He said. "She isn't a respectable person Spencer. Your mother and I did not raise you to associate-"

"YOU TWO DIDNT RAISE ME AT ALL! I PRACTICALLY RAISED MYSELF!" I screamed at him.

"-with people like her." He continued. "Your mother and I talked this over, and our decision is final." Right on cue the front door opened and my mother walked in. "Honey, back me up here. Im trying to tell Spencer here that Paige isn't someone she should be associating with."

"I agree with your father sweetie."

"Don't fucking 'sweetie' me." I growled at her.

"Don't talk to your mother like that!" My dad shouted at me.

"Im not going to stop being friends with Paige. You can't make me." I said again standing up straight.

"I thought you might do something like this." My mom said. She reached into her purse and handed me a pan flip. It was a brochure of a school names Phillips Academy in Massachusetts. I opened it and read their opening statement.

"A boarding school. You want to send me to a fucking boarding school?!" I shouted throwing the thing back at her.

"Its ranked top in the U.S. We are only thinking of your academics." My father stated.

"Bull fucking shit!" I shouted stomping on the ground.

"Watch your mouth young lady." He said warningly.

"You don't care about my academics. You just want me gone!" I shouted.

"Spencer thats not-"

"Yes it is! Don't even fucking lie to me! You both want me gone! Why the fucking hell did you even have another child if you were just going to hate it!" I shouted.

"If you applied yourself more-"

"I HAVE BETTER GRADES THAT MELISSA DID! IM DUE TO GRADUATE AN ENTIRE YEAR BEFORE MELISSA DID! BUT WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE! YOUR PRECIOUS MELISSA IS WAY BETTER THAN HER STUPID TROUBLED LITTLE SISTER COULD EVER BE." I growled. I was breathing heavily and my vision was blurring from rage.

"You're going to this school, you are to stop being friends with Paige, and you are to learn to respect your elders." My dad said again. I closed my eyes and brought my hands to my head.

"We're just doing whats best for you Spencer." my mom tried, she came closer and tried to put a hand on my shoulder, but i slapped it away.

"Don't fucking touch me." I growled out again. _I couldn't believe them. I hate them. I hate it here, why the fuck and i even here?!_ I shouted in my head. I stormed past them ignoring their yells at me. My dad was calling my name but i kept walking and slammed my door shut as hard as I could. I took my desk chair and shoved it underneath my door handle so that they couldn't open it from the outside. The tears were streaming down my cheeks, and i couldn't think straight. I stormed over to my closet and pulled out a duffle bag. _Fuck them. I don't need them. _I growled in my head. I heard a knock on my door, but ignored it. I shoved clothes into the duffle bag, only grabbing what i liked. Throwing the rest on the floor. I grabbed my favorite shoes, and boots. I grabbed my t-shirts and nice shirts that i liked. I grabbed all of my jeans, leggings, and most of my skirts. Before taking the ones that i had purchased to try to impress my parents and ripped them to shreds and threw them to the ground. The pounding on my door got louder and i heard the door handle jiggle. I zipped up the duffle bag before grabbing another one and stuffing my laptop, charger, iPod, charger, iHome, and other things that i had that i wanted to keep. I grabbed all my make-up and books and notebooks filled with my thoughts and threw them into the duffle. I grabbed everything that Paige has ever given me and placed them gently in the duffle bag. I grabbed pictures that i had of the two of us and placed them into it.

"Spencer! Open this door now!" My dad yelled while he pounded on the door harder. I zipped up the duffle bag after it was full and grabbed my purse and put my wallet, and phone in it. I went back over to my closet and reached way in back. There was a jewelry box that my grandma had given to me. Inside there were a few diamond rings, and diamond earrings. As well as gold bracelets and earrings and necklaces. There were other expensive jewels inside as well, and i put that inside my purse. I made sure my car keys were in my purse also before going back to my closet and reaching to the back of the other side. On this side there was a noter small box, inside there was a lot of money. I've had jobs in the past, and i've been taking small amounts from my credit card every now and then for the better part of three years incase this ever happened. There was probably a good few thousand dollars, probably more. I had always wanted to run away, but Melissa always said that it wasn't worth it. That it'd get better. So i stayed, but i had a back up plan incase this every happened. I heard my dad body slam the door, and shout again for me open it. I went over to my window and dropped my clothes duffle out the window. I slung my other duffle over my shoulder and neck, before doing the same with my purse and threw a leg over the open window. This defiantly isn't the first time i've snuck out, there was a sturdy pipe, next to my window that i used to shimmy down the side of the house. I heard my dads yells and rams into the door increasing and i dropped the last couple of feet to the ground making sure to bend my knees so i didn't hurt myself. I quickly picked up my other duffle and ran to my car. I threw my stuff into the backseat before jumping into the front seat and driving off, just in time to see my mom run out the front door trying to stop me. but I didn't dare stop driving. I drove and drove and drove, letting the tears flow freely.

I drove all the way to my secret place that Paige and I share. It was in the backroads on the way to Philly. Here, it was all woods, and there was a place that i could pull my car into where it would be shielded from the road, and stay there until the morning. I knew i had to ditch my phone and car, my parents would track them and try to find me. They wouldn't want to ruin their perfect family image. But who cares about them anymore. Not me. They can't just get rid of me when its convenient for them. If they wanted me gone, fine. I'll go. I won't give them the satisfaction of making things easy for them. I'll go, but on my terms. Im going to be friend with Paige. Im not going to go that stupid boarding school in fucking Massachusetts. I'm not going to live with them anymore. Before i got to the spot, i stopped at a Walmart and bought a disposable phone. Maybe i was being paranoid, maybe not. But i wasn't going to risk being taken and sent to Phillips Academy. I drove off, and didn't stop until i got to that little spot. Once there, I took my phone, and set up the disposable one. I put Melissa's and Paige's numbers in there, before shutting that phone off and taking the battery out. I reached into one of my duffle bags and grabbed out a notebook and a pen.

_**If you do find this car, remember mom and dad, you won't find me. I don't want anything to do with either of you anymore. I don't care for you, just like how you don't care for me. I'm not keeping anything that either of you gave me. You want me back? To fucking bad. Im not ever coming back. I hate the both of you. I know there's a GPS tracking system in this car. I'm not keeping the car. I can buy my own. I hope your happy now, all my life, all i've ever wanted was for you two to notice me. To see me for who i am, not for who i wasn't. Im sorry i couldn't live up to your ridiculous standards of being a daughter. I'm sorry i'll never be good as Melissa. But then again, you two will probably forget about me by the end of the night. Its what you two do best. Ignore me. I don't know why you chose now to care. You couldn't have done that for the first 16 years of me life? No? It had to be now, that you figure its okay for you two to cut into my life and dictate who i can see and I can't? Well it doesn't work that way. I'm going to go away forever. Don't look for me, don't try to find me, because you never will. I'm going to disappear, and then you guys can final have your perfect family without me. **_

_**Im not sorry for leaving. I'm sorry that i had you guys as parents. **_

_**~Your pathetic excuse for a daughter, Spencer. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Shoutout to Breyanaxo and getlostandruncici for sticking with me the whole way so far :) don't worry though, all you other lovely guests i love you as well ;)**_

_**p.s. PLEASE REVIEW, IM HAVING WRITERS BLOCK WITH THIS ONE, HELP ME OUT! I WILL EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT WAS YOUR IDEA IF I GET ONE THAT FITS IN NICELY AND USE IT! I PROMISE! **_

_**~Enjoy!**_

Chapter 5

PPOV

_I don't know how to begin to explain where I am. Everything is so dark. You know…. I used to welcome the dark. It made me feel safe, its weird I know, usually people are afraid of the dark, but not me. I loved to explore it. Night time was my time. I used to sneak out of my room at night and explore my very large back yard, with the trees and my mom's flower bed, it was like my own jungle adventure. Most of the times, i can recall, one of my parents would find me asleep outside in the flowers in the summer. The beautiful night sky would guide me… But not here. Theres nothing here. I'm not even sure if there is a ground. I feel like I'm floating, but I'm not moving. I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed, i don't hear anything, i try to talk, but nothing comes out. I can't see my own hand in front of my face, well i wouldn't be able to i don't think… I can't feel my hands. I don't know how long i've been here. I try to remember something, anything. I know my name, It's Paige McCullers. I'm 17 and I go to Rosewood High. My best friends name is Spencer Hastings. I'm rich. My mom's dead. My dad beats me. My dad…. beats me….. I remember now, as vivid as though it were happening all over again, except, i'm not in my body, its like, I'm observing from across the room. His angry glare, how he tackled me to the ground and punched me in the face. How he was practically foaming at the mouth. _

"_Night Night." That voice…. It came from inside of me, right before the last punch that knocked me out. The scene replays in front of me again, and i watch myself, i take the first hit, try to block the second, but on the third one, my face is different. My eyes change, and I… smirk at him. I don't try to defend myself against the last punch, I watch it fly to my face, and right before it connects, that voice speaks from inside my head and leaves chills down my spine. _

"_Paigey…. Wake up little Paigey." The voice taunts me. I'm thrown back into the black abyss that i'm assuming is my mind, and the cold, emotionless, mocking voice surrounds me. _

"I am awake." I say back. This time i can hear my voice, which is in itself a relief.

"_No you're not love, wake up." _The voice sounds feminine, and british? I guess if its in my head… might as well be. I love british accents, _"Focus love, you just remember'd the last thing that had happened, do you really think you're awake right now?" _The voice asked me.

"Who are you?"

"_All in good time, love. Pay attention, wake up." _

"I am awake, I'm talking to you."

"_No love, you're unconscious. You haven't woken up yet. You've been out for quite sometime and I need you to wake up now." Her voice echoes off on 'wake up now' and repeats itself, and blurs together in my ear drums. The black surrounding me starts to fade to light, and soon its so blinding that i curl up into a ball and shrink away from it's intense glare. _

I slowly uncurl myself from the ball I'm in and notice that i'm on a floor. I open my eyes, squinting from the glare of light. My vision is foggy and my head is pounding and feels puffy. Slowly again, I uncurl myself from the position i was in on the floor and bet to a crawling position. I crawl on my hands and knees at a painstaking pace, since my body is as stiff as wood. I make my way towards my full length mirror, and when i look at myself i gasp. My left eye has a huge dark purple ring around it, probably from when he punched me. My nose is pushed off to the side, and is purple and red. Theres dried blood caked on my face as well as my clothes. My right cheek has a large purple bump on it and my lip is busted. I notice more marks on my neck and when i strain my head back i can see where he probably grabbed my by the throat after i passed out still in his drunken rage and strangled me.

"I'm lucky to be alive…" I whispered to myself. I sighed heavily, hopefully he isn't home and i can grab an ice pack from the freezer in the kitchen. Fucking asshole can make his own damn coffee today. Slowly I'm able to get myself in a standing position, but forced to lean against the wall because the world started spinning. Leaving a hand on the wall, i made my way towards my closet and began stripping my clothes off. I peeled off my clothes and put on a light sleeveless shirt, and a pair of grey sweatpants. There's no way in hell i'm leaving my house today, so there's no point in covering up. I make my way out of my room, my head clearing up a little, and make my way to the kitchen. There is broken glass everywhere and bloody fist and hand smudges on the walls. Theres broken cups, mugs, pictures, plates, vases, our t.v. "Fan-fucking-tastic." I sigh to myself. I walk back to my room and slip on some old skateboard shoes that were in the back of my closet before walking back out to the kitchen and over the broken glass. I go straight for the freezer and the medicine cabinet, grabbing an ice pack and some pain relievers. I pop a few pills and press the ice pack to my swelling cheek, before alternating it over to my swelling eye. I make my way to the bathroom, and look at my reflection once again. I notice that my nose is still crooked, and so i set the ice pack down next to the sink. I place both of my hands on either side of my nose firmly, and give it a sharp jerk. There's a crack, a burst of pain, mixed with a sense of relief. I groan and pick up the ice pack and press it to my now throbbing nose. I make my way back to the kitchen, to grab a glass of orange juice and another ice pack, and hear a vibrating noise. I look around and notice my phone slid partially under the fridge. I grab it out, and there are 3 missed texts and 2 missed calls from Spencer, as well as 5 missed texts and 5 missed calls from an unknown number. I slip the phone in my pocket and quickly grab the carton of orange juice and another ice pack before retreating to my room and closing the door. i set the juice down next to my bed and gently lay myself down. My whole body is sore, and bruised. I lay on my side and place one icepack down on my pillow for my cheek and lay the other one over my face for my eye. I take my phone out of my pocket and read the texts from Spencer.

_**Morning Paige :) Thanks for staying the night, I'm sorry you had to see that… But I was wondering if i could make it up to you? Movie tonight, my treat? **_

_**Paige, please answer your phone, I need to talk to you!**_

_**Paige, this is an S.O.S. Please answer me! **_

Immediately I closed out of the text message app and called her phone. It went straight to voicemail.

"God fuck." I whispered to myself. I opened the texts again but accidentally opened the messages from the unknown number.

_**Paige, it's Spencer I got a new phone.**_

_**Why aren't you answering your phone?! Paige please, i need you right now.**_

_**Paige?!**_

_**S.O.S.**_

_**Okay, i've called you like 500 times and you're not answering which means either something happened to you, or you hate me for something i probably did but can't remember. So i'm just going to say this here. I ran away. I can't take them anymore. Please, if you hate me… Tell me you hate me, because I would rather have you hate me then something have had something bad happen to you, please Paige, I NEED you to call me back as soon as you get this, you can even just hang up right away I don't care. Just please let me know you're okay. **_

I looked a the time the last text was sent and that was late last night. Immediately i started to panic. I called the unknown number and bolted off of my bed, ignoring the wince in my side and grabbed my car keys and wallet, stuffing them into my pockets and running out the front door. I got in my car, and put on my oakley sunglasses since it was so bright out and sped out of my driveway. The phone rang and rang, but she didn't pick up. I slammed my fist against my steering wheel in frustration and called again. This time by the fifth ring she answered.

"Hello?" Her sleep laced voice answered raspily.

"Oh thank fucking god you're okay." I rushed out into the phone, tears threatening to leak from my eyes.

"Paige?"

"Yeah Spence. It's me. I am so sorry i didn't get your texts or calls… I- uh.. Lost my phone. But where are you what happened?!" I demanded.

"I'm at the Star motel right outside of Philly."

"I know where that is, I'm coming to you now." I said.

"No Paige, I'm okay-"

"I don't give a flying fuck if you are physically okay Spencer!" I yelled into the phone. "I know you're not! And I am such a terrible person for not being there for you last night, I'm so sorry. Its all my fault, if I hadnt-" I choked on my words. I sniffled and tried to stop the snot from dripping down my lip, as the tears poured freely.

"Paige…"

"I'm so sorry Spencer, It's all my fault. this is all my fault." I couldn't stop the flow of tears that cascaded down my cheeks, i didn't bother to wipe them away because i deserved to feel this way.

"No Paige, it's not your fault. It's theirs okay? This is all on them." I stayed on the phone with Spencer until i got to the motel. I parked right outside of her motel room, and went out and knocked on her door. She opened it, and i threw myself at her, engulfing her in my embrace.

"Paige it's okay, I'm okay. I promise you." She whispered into my ear. I held onto her tightly. The fear that hit me when i read the last text she sent me about her running away, and that she thought that I hated her literally sent me into panic. I know Spencer's only been in my life for a little over a year now… But i don't think i could manage without her. She's the reason that I get up in the morning. She's the reason that I keep going everyday. Hit after hit, blow after blow, its her face that i envision in my mind to help me through it. Because without knowing so, she's the one who keeps all the pain away. He can hit me again and again, until all my bones are broken, but as soon as i see Spencer's face, or hear her voice, or her hair, or her hands… The very second i notice her, it all vanishes. The pain, the sorrow, the hate. It all disappears and she makes me feel like a normal person. Like, for the few moments that i get to steal away from her day, that i get her all to myself, are the moments that i cherish. I always knew that Spencer meant a lot more to me than I let on, but until you are thrown into a situation that takes them from you, even for a few minutes. Where that nagging dreaded drop in your stomach feeling hits, everything crashes.

I buried my face in the crook of her neck, I stopped shaking from crying, but a few stray tears still leaked out. I inhaled her musky scent, so that i could remember it forever. I never wanted to forget any part of her. ever.

"Paige, hey look at me." She said, lightly pushing me away from her, i pulled back and when our eyes locked she gasped. "Paige?" Her eyes went wide with worry and shock, and a tear leaked from her eye. I stared at her for a second in confusion, before i remembered the current state my face was in.

"It's nothing Spencer." I whispered to her. She reached her hands up to my face and slowly slid my sunglasses off. She said my name again, but her voice cracked. "No no no no. Spencer. Don't cry, I'm okay Spencer. It looks worse than it is." I tried to soothe her. She sniffled in her nose and shook her head side to side.

"No. No its not okay! Look at you!" She said taking a small step back.

"Spence stop! I'm fine!-"

"No! No you're not fucking fine!" She shouted at me her hand pointing to my face. "Look at you Paige! I knew something bad happened to you! I knew it! I don't know how but i just had this feeling, that even though everything bad happened to me, i knew there was something wrong with you! I just…. i can't.. I.." She started hyperventilating and i rushed to her. I grabbed her by the face and forced her to look at me. I pushed us towards the bed and had her sit down.

"Spencer breathe. Please, stop. I'm okay, I will be okay. You will be okay. Everything will be fine. okay?" She nodded slightly, and her breathing, though still shallow, slowed down some. "Breathe for me baby, come on. In. Out. In. Out. There you go." I stayed in front of her the entire time, only leaving to reach to the bedside table for the bottle of water and hand it to her for her to drink. Her hands wrapped around my body and she hugged my midsection. I winced slightly at the force, and i thought she wouldnt notice, which was stupid of me because her hands went to the bottom of the shirt. She bunched it up and tried to push the material up my body but i placed my hands over hers. "No." I whispered to her.

"Paige, i have to know." She said. i felt a shiver of shame flow down my spine as i slowly let her hands remove my shirt. She gasped and immediately i wrapped my arms around my torso trying to cover up as much of it as possible. But it was no use. She had already seen all the bruises. New and old. The red welts from where he kicked and punched me. The ugly purple blotches, the disgusting fading yellow-green ones. I shrunk away from her wandering eyes and took a step back. "How long?" she asked barely over a whisper. I shook my head side to side, not wanting to answer her. "Paige, how long." She persisted again.

I tiled my head down in shame and my shoulders hunched foreword trying to make myself smaller, "About four years." I choked out quietly.

"What?" She asked, unable to hear me. She got up from the bed and made her way towards me slowly, and involuntarily i shrunk back in fear. "Paige?" She asked when i did. Her voice full of worry.

"Four years."

"How many years?"

"Four."

"Oh. Four years?!" She asked in shock. I shrunk back again, but my back hit the wall.

"Spencer can i please have my shirt back?" I asked crying.

"Paige i-"

"No Spencer please, don't look at it." I cried out in shame. I closed my eyes, and before i knew it she was in front of me and trapped me against the wall. She stroked her hand lightly against my non bruised cheek and cupped it, getting me to look at her.

"Paige, don't be ashamed." She whispered to me. "These marks, they don't define you. They don't make you weak. They show just how strong you are. They are proof that you are alive. That you are here, breathing, and living. These marks, the bruises. They don't make me see you any different than i did yesterday. If anything, they get me to admire you more. These marks, They will fade, and they will go away. Just like these bad times. But you, you will still be here. Because you are strong." She placed her hand over my heart, and leaned towards me. She kissed my bruised eye, and my cheek, and the busted part of my lip. She moved down and kissed across the marks on my neck, and the bruises on my body. She kissed every single one of them before guiding my hand and leading me towards the bed. She laid us down, and she ghosted her fingers across my abdomen. "I love you." She said. My breath caught in my throat. I turned to look at her, and she smiled at me. This. This moment, is something that i only thought possible in my dreams. Where Spencer loves me like how i love her, except, this isn't it. Its just like how i imagined it, but without THAT kind of love.

"I love you too." I said to her. We ended up falling asleep, and when i woke up, i was shivering and clinging to Spencer for warmth. I shifted, trying to get closer to her, since her body was radiating a lot of heat, and she woke up.

"Jeez, you're freezing." She said, acting immediately she pulled us under the covers. i sighed into the warmth and cuddled back into her.

"Two things, One. Since I'm shirtless you have to be to." I said trying to lighten up the still sorrowful mood that had settled in the room for before. Spencer laughed.

"What? I'm not taking my shirt off." She said, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"Come on Spency, You got to see me half naked, its not fair." I pouted.

"No Paige." she said, but i could tell she was going to break.

"Please?" I begged, kissing her shoulder lightly. She sighed heavily before giving in. She lifted her back off the bed and reached down to pull her shirt off. I licked my lips at the sight of her stomach. It was tone and tan and silky smooth looking. I couldn't help but reach out and spread a hand across her flat stomach and pull her back over to me. The feel of her skin against mine sent shocks to my core. I smiled to myself, and Spencer cleared her throat once we were settled in. Her cheeks kept getting hotter, and she radiated more and more heat the more contact we made.

"I believe there was another statement you were going to make." She said, not looking at me. I chuckled slightly, before resting my head on her bra-clad breast.

"oh yeah… Can you tell me what happened?" I asked. I heard her sigh and she rested her other hand on mine. We laced our fingers together before she spoke.

"Well… They wanted to ship me out."

"What?"

"Yeah, to a boarding school halfway across the country." She sighed. "And my dad said that i wasn't allowed to _be associated _with someone like you. Like who the fucking hell does he think he is? For the first time in my life, i had a friend. And actual friend. One that likes me for me, who see's me. Who loves me for me, who doesn't judge me, who doesn't lie to me. I found everything i've ever wanted from them in this person. In you Paige, i couldn't manage this without you." She finished. I hugged onto her tighter. "That was the final straw. There is no way in hell i'd survive without you. I'd be lost without you." She confessed. I look up to her face, and I move so that I'm hovering over her.

"I love you so much Spencer. I'm never going to leave, they could move you across the world, and i would follow you there. You came out of nowhere, and yet i fell for you on the second day. You never asked questions, you never pried. But you cared the entire way. You cared about the important things, and you never once liked me for the things i owned. You don't care about the brands of clothes I wear, you don't care about the car I drive or the mansion i live in. You didn't care bout any of that. You care for me. And that's why i'd never ever give you up for anything in the world." I said to her.

"Really?"

"I'd move the moon if it tried to get in-between us." I answered honestly. I wanted nothing more in this moment than to lean down and kiss her to prove that i meant every word i had said to her. "I can't imagine a life without you either." I whispered to her, before chickening out and rolling over, and snuggling into her warm body. I kept one hand wrapped around her torso, with my palm flat against her stomach ad pulled her as close as possible to me, before falling asleep, but not before i heard her whisper,

"I love you Paige. More than anything in the world, I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Okay guys I'm back! So sorry about the wait, I really really am! But here you go, I don't know where this like, spurt of inspiration came from for this story, but I've got it. Also Thanks to Breyanaxo again for a really good idea! I'm actually thinking along the lines of where you were heading with your idea, but with a little twist so I can make this story just a little bit longer :) But thank you, you got the wheels in my head turning and now I can write! haha**_

Chapter 6

SPOV

I woke up wrapped up in Paige's arms. I sighed contentedly before snuggling into her further. She complied easily by pulling me closer to her. She kissed my exposed shoulder and I felt a shiver run down my body. I laced my fingers through her hand that was resting against my bare stomach. _How could someone be so cruel to such a wonderful person? _I thought to myself.. Paige's left arm was acting as my pillow, and it stuck out and her hand limply fell over the bed. But when I looked at her arm I frowned. There were deep angry red gashes that I had missed. I was so worked up over the bruises that I didn't see these. Carefully, and without touching them, I inspected them. They were pretty straight cut which means she probably did them herself. I felt my heart clench at the thought that she felt the only way to escape the pain she was in was to cause herself more pain. I couldn't help the small silent tears that leaked from my eyes and dripped down. One must have hit Paige's arm because she shifted a little.

"Are you okay Spence?" She asked quietly. I didn't say anything back, but I gripped her hand tighter. I couldn't help but cry, as much as I wanted to stay sting for her, I couldn't. She is put through so much. My perfect little Paige, she's hit and abused to the point where she has to hurt herself to get over the other pain. Why would anyone want to make someone so wonderful hurt so much? Paige is literally perfect. She's understanding and caring, and she pays attention. She's always there, and she always know what to say or what to do. She never brings you down, at least not on purpose, and she hides her pain so that everyone else can be happy. "Spence?" She asks again. I couldn't help the choked sob that escaped my lips or the shivers that came with the tears. "Shh… Spence, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay." Paige soothed. She wrapped herself around me further, and moved her hand so that it was flat against my stomach and she pulled me flush against her. "Here, come here." She said after a few minutes. She pulled away and pulled on my side, indicating that she wanted me to turn over. I did and I buried my tear soaked face in the crook of her neck. She continued to try and shush me, rubbing gentle and comforting circles on my back with her hand, and she brought her other arm to wrap up against me and play with my hair. "Whats wrong Spency?" She asked, once I had calmed down, and was reduced to sniffles. I shook my head, in the limited space I had, and just buried myself deeper into her. "Spence, please?" She begged. I gulped and pulled myself away from her, sitting up in the bed. She had propped herself up on one arm and was now looking at me with her soft gentle brown eyes. I could get lost in her eyes for days, but the purple ring surrounding the soft warm pools that the world claims are her eyes, forced tears to continue to leak from my own. I sat up further and brought a hand up to her face, hovering just millimeters away, too afraid to touch the tender looking flesh.

"Does it hurt?" I asked. Immediately I kicked myself for the stupid question. _Of course it hurts, look at it. You idiot. _

"Not as much as it did." She says. I look at her, studying her features and her eyes to try and decipher if she's lying to me or not. "I promise Spence, it doesn't hurt that bad." She continued. I sighed heavily, but brought my hand down to rest on top of hers.

"Paige… I'm scared." I admitted.

"Scared of what?" She asked gently. I knew she knew what I was talking about, but this is another thing that I love about Paige. She knows when a person needs to talk about something. She knows when to ask the right questions, and when to keep quiet.

"What do I do now?" I asked quietly. I looked around the room, and did a quick inventory check in my mind. I couldn't survive too long on what I had with me now, and I had to get rid of the credit cards that were sitting so crisply in my wallet, knowing that my parents would love for me to mess up and use one.

"Well, for now, I think you should stay here until you come up with a solid plan." She said.

"What do you mean 'you.'" I asked, listening closely to her choice of words. "Paige, I can't do this on my own, I need you with me." I pleaded. Paige cast her gaze downwards. "Paige… You're not going back…" I asked. It was more of a statement than anything, and Paige's silence only confirmed my worst fears. "Paige no! Look at you! I can't let you go back there!"

"I have to Spence."

"No you don't Paige, please! You can't go back there! He might hurt you even worse! To the point where you won't wake up… Paige, I can't-" For the second time this morning I was reduced to tears. There was no shame in these tears though. They were completely out of worry. For the love of my life's life. If she goes back, there is a huge possibility that he could kill her. And that is so scary, I don't even want to think about it. But my over active brain won't let it rest.

"Spence you don't understand. I have to go back. I can't leave him there." She said quietly. "He won't survive without me."

"And you may not survive with him!" I pleaded with her. We were both crying, albeit i was crying harder, but still. In the entire year and a half I've known Paige, I've never seen her cry. And this sight, mixed with that thought was enough to shatter my heart. "Paige please. I love you so much, i don't want you to get hurt anymore. I don't want you to do that anymore either. And if you stay there, that's all thats ever going to happen." I sobbed, pointing to her left arm. Instinctively she tried to hide it, but we both knew it was to late and that I had already seen and processed what the angry red marks were.

"I love you too Spence, but I can't leave him." She said again.

"Why not? All he does is hurt you." My voice cracked terribly, i tried to keep my eyes from blearing up with tears.

"it's not his fault Spence. He's hurting."

"Just because he's hurting, doesn't mean its okay for him to hurt you." I said sternly. I wiped my tears away, even though fresh ones fell in their place, but I had to get through to her.

"No Spence, It's okay because i deserve it-"

"No one deserves this." I cut her off.

"Let me explain. Please?" She asked. her eyes were rimed with red, and there was just so much sadness swimming behind her eyes that I had to look away. I nodded, letting her know that I was listening.

"Four years ago I was at a friends house. Or I thought she was my friend, but that doesn't matter now. Anyway, we got in this huge argument and I ended up getting so upset that I wanted to leave. So naturally I called my mom and begged her crying to come get me. She had already worked all day, and she was tired, but she finally said okay, and came to get me. I took my stuff and waited outside her house until my mom showed up to get me." She paused, taking a deep breath. Before continuing with her eyes closed. "So when my mom finally got there, I was more than ready to leave. I was crying uncontrollably over what she had said to me, and my mom tried to get me to calm down and tell her what was wrong. We were driving and she placed her hand on my leg, and she smiled down at me telling me that everything was going to be okay, and then-" Her voice cut out again. I had a feeling that I knew where this story was going, but for Paige's sake, I kept quiet. She needed to get this story out of her, so that it wasn't bottled up and eating her up inside. "The other car ran a red light and drove into the side of our car. And our car rolled, and ended up on the road, a few feet away from my mom. And I crawled over to her, and she made me promise to take care of him. That was her dying wish, to take care of him. I promised her I would. I can't break that promise to her." By now, Paige was sobbing. I rushed foreword and wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. Her body was racked with cries as she was thrown down the tragic memory lane. "And it's my fault that we were there. My fault. It's my fault she's gone. That's why I have t keep the promise. Because it's my fault." She repeated those words _It's my fault_ over and over again. No matter how hard I tried to tell her that it wasn't her fault, it was the other drivers fault, my words fell deaf to her. After four years of abusive behavior and her dad probably telling her it was her fault that this had happened, I can see why she believed it. But that didn't make it right. She shouldn't be getting beaten up on a daily basis for an unfortunate and uncontrollable tragic incident that happened four years ago.

"But he isn't the only one hurting Paige. You lost your mom that day. And I'm pretty sure you lost your dad that day too. Didn't you." I whispered in her ear. She was quiet, and slowly i pulled away from her. "Didn't you." I whispered again. I watched as her lip quivered as she tried not to cry again, but failed as more tears cascaded down her face. "I'm so sorry Paige." I said to her as I held onto her again. It broke my heart to see her like this. It would break my heart to see anyone like this. To be blamed for your mothers death. Even though i hate my mom, if someone blamed me for her death, like how Paige's dad blames her, i don't know if I could manage that.

She's been dealing with this for four years. That was the information that I had the toughest time dealing with inside of my head. Four years? It was incomprehensible. The fact that she has been living with this for this long, just blew my respect for her to new highs. Unable to contain myself any longer, I pulled away and cupped my hands gently around her face.

"Paige, look at me." I asked her. After a few seconds she opened her eyes and I smiled at her, "You are the strongest person I know. And if you feel like you need to stay at that house, because of your promise, then I'm staying with you."

"No Spence-"

"I love you Paige. I love you so much that it makes my heart ache. I can't idly sit by and watch this happen to you when I know I can be there for you and try to take some of the pain away. And as much as I want to beg you to forget your promise to your mom because in my eyes, your life isn't as important as the promise you made four years ago, but if I will stay by you if you can't forgo that promise. You said to me last night that you would move the moon if it tried to get between us. The only thing between us now is this. I'm free to do as I please. I let go. I left them behind. I can follow you. If you want to stay for a while longer, than we can stay. But we can also go. We can live our lives how we want to. We can do everything that we've ever wanted to do! We can be happy. With and for each other." I meant every word that came out of my mouth. I can't lose Paige, and if that means I have to sit by and watch this happen for another year, while I try my hardest to get her out, then I will. But losing Paige is not an option.

"Spence, you don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have to, Love Bug. I want to." I said to her, "No matter where you go, I'm following behind you."

"What if you meet someone Spence? Someone who you like and could have a relationship with? I don't want to be-" Somehow I knew this would come up, and it was an opportunity I wasn't going to waste. I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers, and everything fell into place. Her lips were so soft, even though I could feel the split part of her lip, it didn't bother me. My eyes were closed the second our lips made contact and I never wanted to open them again. Something inside of me clicked, and for the life of me I wouldn't be able to describe in words what this feeling was like. It was incredible and liberating, and warm. It made me feel safe and loved and happy.

I will admit, that Paige is my first kiss. All my life I was so focused on academics trying to please my parents that I never had time for friends. I never really talked to anyone, and sure i've dated guys in the past, but none of them were anything serious and I never let them kiss me. Honestly I thought it was gross. Until I met Paige. Paige opened all of these doors for me, she showed me friendship. And all the great perks that come with it. But most importantly she showed me love and compassion. And that's what I wanted to portray back to her. Paige lead the kiss, parting her lips slightly to bring my lower lip between her teeth and to suck on it a little. I moaned at the feeling, and kissed Paige a little more forcefully, with a hunger inside myself that couldn't be fulfilled by anyone or anything except Paige. Paige brought a hand up to cup my cheek, and used it to slow down the kiss. She had taken control, and brought it back to a leisurely pace until they were nothing more than a few pecks, until were were staring into each others eyes, breathing heavily.

"I found someone I like Paige. And I will do anything for you."

"I'll do anything for you too." She whispered back to me before capturing my lips once again is a loving and passionate kiss.

* * *

It's been a couple of hours since we first kissed, and I couldn't be happier. I took a shower first, then Paige. I looked through all of my clothes, pulling out a nice skirt a shirt to match before grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt for Paige. We were the same pants size, although her shirts were bigger than mine since she has a much more developed chest than I do. I was all changed and counting the money I had in the box, When Paige came out of the shower wrapped in nothing but a towel. I blushed and looked down as she thanked me for the clothes and went back into the bathroom to change. Whether she left the door open a crack on purpose or not, either way i couldn't help but stare. I watched as she slipped the underwear up long legs, and a sports bra on. She stepped into the jeans I had loaned her and she had to do a little dance and a hop to get them over her butt. Which I couldn't help the little giggle that escaped my lips at the absolute adorableness of it all. She then tugged the shirt over herself before flipping her hair and using the hair dryer the dry it. Once she was done she came out of the bathroom, and walked over to the bed, folding her other clothes nicely. The black t-shirt I gave her to wear hugged her perfectly. it showed her flat stomach and it rounded and clung to every curve of her boobs. The shirt acted like it was another layer or skin, and it only took a second before I envied the stupid material for its close proximity to Paige's body.

After I finished counting up the money I had in the box, which was actually to my surprise a lot more than I had anticipated it to be, I had a total of $32,687. In cash. Not to mention all of the expensive jewelry I had that I could sell if i needed to also. Paige walked around, picking up various things of mine that I had layed out, as I had decided to take her advice and stay at this motel for a few days. She picked up some notebooks, and flipped through them before gently placing them back down and picking up something else.

"I'll be right back." She said after a while. I turned around to see her putting her sunglasses on and heading to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Just to my car, gimmie a minute." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Sure enough a couple minutes later she came walking back into the room with a duffle bag of her own in hand.

"Whats that?" I asked curiosity getting the best of me.

"Stuff for you." She said as she closed the door behind her and made her way over to me before sitting down.

"What do you mean stuff for me?" I asked. She shrugged and nudged the bag with her elbow, and so I took it and opened it up. Inside there was a few plastic bags filled with rolls of money and a few other boxes of things. I looked up at her, but she had picked up another thing and was seemingly heavily interested in it, so i pulled out the various items. There were three large clear thick plastics bags filled with money, as well as a medium sized first aid kit, a sleeping bag, a fire starter kit, a small tent, a flashlight with extra batteries, a hunting knife, and a few other survival things. "Paige… What…"

"You're going to want to lay low. Camping is your best bet. I guarantee once they find your car they're going to check all motels, hotels, and bridges with in walking distance give or take a few miles and try to find you. If anything Melissa will. So if you want to stay hidden, you have to go camping. The money is just a bonus for if things get tough." She said, not looking at me. "If they find you… they might take you away from me and I might not ever find you. I don't want that to happen. I want you to stay with me, but if you don't like the idea of camping by yourself for awhile I can arrange for something else. No matter what Spence, I promise, they won't take you from me." She said. I have never heard someones voice get so small, and for a second, I forgot that she has a million bruises all over her body as I engulfed her in a hug.

"Paige, if they do ever find me, they won't take me without a fight. And every day that I'm gone I will be fighting for a way back to you. If camping out on the woods is the only way to guarantee that I don't have to go back, then I'll go camping. Although, it'd be easier if you could come with me… I don't know the first thing about camping." I admitted. Paige pulled away just far enough so she could look at me and offer me a lopsided grin, before pressing a light kiss to my lips.

"I thought so, don't worry, i can arrange for something else so you don't have to go camping by yourself in the big scary woods." She teased. I pulled away and sat back on the ground next to her, as she carefully opened one of the bags and started counting the money inside. I watched her as she did, memorizing every curve of her face, and every strand of hair that she had. How she scrunched her eyes just lightly when she concentrated and how she would bite the inside of her lip and her nose would twitch. I watched as she made plans so that I would never have to go back to my family, as I secretly began to make plans of my own, to get her away from her own.


End file.
